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Bust out of your rut!
I know the feeling…you have have NO motivation, you’re sluggish, feeling lazy or sleepy all the time, you’ve lost your ooph. Hey it happens to everybody.
Feeling stuck in a rut can be a real problem!
Trust me, this year has been trial after trial and now that things have slowed down and I’m no longer in survival mode, I find that most days I’m feeling unmotivated, exhausted and then frustrated that the day seemed blah and unproductive.
In my frustration I realized that I needed to make some serious changes.
Well, here’s whats worked for me. I hope you find some relief and you start to reinvigorate your life again!
Here are 5 tips to help you get your butt in gear!
1. Stop Making Excuses
I could give you 15 reasons why I just couldn’t possibly bring myself to workout after my kids go to bed.
Okay. Cool. So what good does that do me?
I mean really though, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You are wasting your own time and putting off something that you obviously find to be important enough that it is persistently nagging at you.
Not only that, you will probably end up feeling guilty that you didn’t do what it was you had hoped to do. Next comes self-defeat and repeat. Sigh.
It’s a vicious cycle my friends.
2. Challenge Your Cognitive Distortions
Mental Health Fun Fact: Our thoughts affect our emotions, our actions and our beliefs about the world and of ourselves.
If you can truly grasp the hugeness of this statement you will begin to understand how gaining control of our thoughts can be a major game-changer.
You are probably wondering what cognitive distortions are?
Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that reinforce our negative or maladaptive beliefs. Below are some examples.
“I always fail.” – Overgeneralizing
“I’m such a loser.” – Labeling
“I know I got the promotion but it was probably because there weren’t any good candidates.” – Minimizing/Negative Bias
“It’s going to be too hard.” – Fortune Telling
“If it wasn’t for ____ I would have the energy to____. – Blaming
“I should know how to do that already.” – Shoulds
“I feel like if I’m meant to be healthy it should just come naturally.” – Emotional Reasoning
[truth bomb. Feeling something doesn’t make it fact.]
It’s so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts. But all they are are thoughts. You CAN take the power back. You can change the narrative.
Instead I want you to challenge these cognitive distortions. If you hear your internal voice blaming, polarizing, rationalizing. Just stop, and ask yourself if that’s really true.
Let’s go back to: “I always fail.” Is that true? Have you truly always failed at everything you have attempted? Try and think of an exception.
What is more likely is that you are not paying attention to the times you have succeeded. When you reinforce this pattern of negative thinking you are training your brain to say it is fact.
Although it might sounds strange, get in the practice of challenging your cognitive distortions. If you don’t seem to have a clue where to start, go see a therapist and begin the process.
Some cognitive distortions can be so toxic it is scary! And they may have been something ingrained since childhood. Often they are.
Don’t ignore the impact of your thoughts.
3. Make Goals
I mean don’t just talk about them or think about them. Write them down. If you want to get that degree or certification don’t let it die with a thought.
Figure out small actionable steps that help facilitate the process of making these goals happen!
Create a time frame or projected completion date on your action steps.
If our goals feel attainable we are more likely to set ourselves in motion and start working on making them happen.
It can be overwhelming to think of the things we want to accomplish for ourselves in solely a big-picture way. Our goals sometimes can feel TOO big.
Break down what it takes to get where you want to be. And I bet “Step 1” in the process will feel doable. Step 10 might feel huge, (That’s good! Aim high!) but who cares, you’re not there yet. When you’re there you will be well prepared.
4. DO it!
This seems simple right?
Well I’m not sure why, but it’s the hardest part! I’ve talked with so many new moms who will say why is it so hard to get back into a workout routine? I mean the first day, the second and maybe third and fourth are the hardest.
After that you will develop a habit.
Whatever it is you have been needing or wanting to do (what did you set up as your first small actionable step?) JUST do it, even if you don’t feel like it.
Gosh if I only did stuff I felt like doing…my kids would never be fed, my house would be a mess and girl, I’d never pay my bills. But really though who cares about how you feel.
Is it important? Is it valuable? Do you need/want to accomplish the bigger goal? Yes? Then do it now!
Think of it this way. It will 100% never happen if you don’t do it.
5. Push Through The Discomfort
I have absolutely never regretted pushing through and accomplishing a task I set out to do.
Maybe it was a project at work, and organizational project at home or even an extra set in the gym. I’ve always felt relieved and proud when I was through.
You gotta push through the discomfort because growth is discomfort. Growing pains are the real deal. They are there because when growth happens there is a breaking of old ways, old habits or old patterns. With it comes strength and progress.
Think of how you feel sore when you workout. Or how you may need to be vulnerable with your boss when asking for a raise or more responsibilities at work.
In this scenario, without discomfort you would be out of shape and underpaid. Is this where you want to be?
Didn’t think so.
So. Now that you’ve made it this far go back to step 1. And get your butt in gear!
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My Son
My Son. From the moment I saw you I knew you would carry my heart with you for the rest of my life. My Son. When you smile I cannot help but feel so beyond happy. I mean like all the warm fuzzies for sure!
My Son. My love for you is extreme. I would sacrifice my life for you. In fact I have. Both your father and I have, for you, and for your sisters. When we became parents our lives ceased to be about us.
Our whole life is an outpouring of our love for you (and your sisters).
My Son. When I found out about your disease I felt as if my heart had shattered in my chest. I held you as I cried. You slept, perfect and new, just a week old. My heart broke and my head ached.
My Son. I spent so many nights afraid to fall asleep for fear that I would lose you. I spent my days feeling angry and heartbroken for you.
My Son. Your father and I want you to experience every possible beautiful thing in this life. My dream is that you will run and play and dance with your sisters. Bailey asks me daily when you will be able to grow up and be big enough to dance with her. My dream for you is that you will laugh and grow and sing and fall in love. My Son. My Beautiful child. You are perfect.
I write this as you lay in your crib at the foot of our bed. I came in to go to sleep and checked to make sure you were breathing, like I always do. You are so peaceful. You laughed today when I tickled your neck. I can hardly contain my love for you my son.
Although the road ahead is paved with uncertainty my hope is that you never doubt the love and mercy of our God!
My Son. My beautiful, strong, brave son we will always fight for you. I promise. You are a gift. You are our family in it’s completion.
You are so special, and wanted and loved, today and for always, no matter what comes.
Love,
Your Mother
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Cut your Monthly Spending!
Ever wonder why you just can’t seem to stick to your budget? Do you wonder why you’re spending seems to exceed what you had planned but you’re not quite sure how to cut back?
Here are 6 easy ways to save $500+ a month!
1. Grocery Shop Once a Week
Yeah I said it. And I meant it.
Look. When we make multiple trips to the grocery store we end up getting more than just that one thing we forgot. Please tell yourself the truth. Have you ever gone into the grocery store and came out with one thing? Also, girl ain’t nobody got time for that.
Target is like the quintessential example. You needed ketchup and you ended up with 6,000 things you didn’t know you needed. Our minds are going a mile a minute and truthfully we may need or want a few other things.
I mean, it’s harmless right? What’s an extra box of pop-tarts, or chips or quart of strawberries gunna hurt?
SO, you sent the husband to grab the, fill in the blank food or item you forgot on your shopping trip. I love my husband and he is good at so many things. Grabbing one thing I specifically asked for at the grocery store is NOT one of those strengths.
I have to share this because it’s so ridiculous and I asked his permission.
A couple of weeks ago I asked him to buy BBQ sauce I needed for dinner and milk because we were out.
My love, ohh my husband. He came home with chocolate donuts for our three year old and 18 month old to share, a box of funfetii cake mix, a 2 liter of holiday Sprite and green holiday frosting with sprinkles.
I said “Babe, please tell me you left a bag with the BBQ sauce and milk out in the car.” Nope. He got side tracked and had totally forgot why he was at the store to begin with. Now this was about $15-$17 slip up.
Doesn’t really seem like a big deal, although if there were “extras” added to the bag once or twice a week this really can add up quick! I mean we are talking $60 bux a month if $15 extra is spent each week. That’s a lot of money!
So PLAN your meals! Make a list, check it twice, check to make sure you have your list with you on this weekly trip and make do with what you got for the week.
Click here to download free printable meal plan template.
This will help you stick to your grocery budget!
2. Wal Mart Grocery Pick up!
If you haven’t already used this. DO IT!
[Use code for $10 off your first order]
Talk about sticking to your budget! You pick the exact items you need/want and add them to your cart, from your phone. [I’ve been doing this during midnight breastfeeding sessions. Talk about multi-tasking.]
This eliminates the impulse buys, and the hungry shopper extras that you really don’t want or need in your fridge.
It’s super easy and MOM friendly!
You order online, schedule a pick up slot and park outside of Wal Mart in a special section. You call them when you arrive and they load your groceries for you! Did I mention that the prices are the same as in the store? How much easier could it be?
It takes 10 minutes max once you are there and no need to take kiddos out of carseats, load them into carts and tell them no 425 times in the cookie aisle.
Oh AND lately I’ve been crazy amounts of pregnant and it’s upstate NY so this has been a total life-saver. I have a very short window of time to pick up my kiddos from school and day-care. Often I don’t get time for running errands and buying weekly groceries.
Schedule a pick up – blast some Toddler Radio on Pandora and swing through. You pay online when you order. It really couldn’t be any simpler.
Use this referral code to get $10 off your first order. Tell me what you think about it once you try it!
3. Re-evaluate Your Morning Coffee Run!
Let’s crunch some numbers. Let’s say you get a medium black coffee from Starbucks every morning on your way into the office. Seems mostly harmless since it’s something like $4.00?
But those donuts and bagels are calling your name! You know what always gets me? Those freaking breakfast sandwich 2 for $4 deals. Get’s me every time! Even if I already had breakfast! Ugh.
But more likely instead of a black coffee you got a Mocha double whip with an extra espresso shot and two breakfast sandwiches, cause you’re a sucker like me. That’s not going to cost you $4 like you had planned, more like closer to $10 bux.
Yikes.
$10 a day for 5 days. $50 bux a week, $200 bux a month on coffee and bagles?! Now we’re good and feeling guilty huh? I know I am. That guilty pleasure turns into a hefty budget breaker…
What to do instead? Stock up on these puppies. Get disposable Coffee cups! I realize that it seems like an added cost, but for me it always eliminated the excuse of I don’t have any coffee or I can’t find a to-go mug.
This way you aren’t tempting yourself with the added costs in the Dunkin drive thru line. Moms trying to cut back on calories will thank me to. Black coffee or coffee with a little creamer from your fridge, has WAY less calories than a S’mores donut and a Double Mocha with whip cream. – Thank me later
4. Cancel Cable and Wifi!
Do it. Right now! Most cable/wifi packages cost around $80-$120 bux a month. Bleh!
For what? So you can sit around staring at a screen instead of your family, or getting your tushes outside?
Don’t get me wrong, my family watches TV. I’m not saying eliminate it all together. We haven’t had cable since our first year married (5 years ago). We just realized how expensive it was and we wanted to be spending that money elsewhere.
We canceled cable and wifi and have never looked back. Most mobile phone plans have mobile hotspots and we use ours when the kiddos want to watch cartoons or if we want to stream some TV or a movie.
We could not live without our Amazon Fire Stick. We paid $39 bux for it (once) and pay $10.99 a month for Netflix. Instead of $100 a month for cable and wifi.
Anytime I need to use the computer or turn on some Octonauts for the girls I just turn on my hotspot. Always does the trick, and costs wayy less money.
5. Unsubscribe!
My inbox was always flooded with beautifully crafted emails by Carter’s, Target, Nordstrom Rack, and Michaels. The Coupons and SAVINGS sometimes are just way to hard to resist.
I realized I was browsing online when I didn’t really have a NEED to buys stuff. I found it made me feel more frustrated that I couldn’t buy something or I found myself making excuses as to why I just HAD to buy whatever it was, because it was On-Sale!
It’s way harder to resist temptation when those sales are inundating your inbox.
Unsubscribe to any site or store that you feel is causing you to spend when it isn’t really necessary. Cut it off at the source.
6. Use Rebate Apps!
Sorry in advance. I am kind of obsessed with some of these rebate apps. I mean let’s take my favorite one: Ibotta for example. [use my referral code: vfnrcxu for a FREE $10 welcome bonus]
I simply look through the list of current rebates, add them to my shopping list and I get cash back for then after I buy. I take a picture of my receipts and it will tell you how much money you will get back.
Sometimes it’s only .25cents and sometimes it’s $9.00 or $10.00 a shopping trip. I religiously save every receipt from anywhere and double check the app to see if there are any rebates.
The cool thing is that they don’t give you a gift card or points or something you don’t really need. It’s cash. I just deposit it to my account after accruing at least $20.
You have to try it. I’ve made over $200.00 using this app.
I mean it’s free money people. Cash in.
[use my referral code: vfnrcxu for a FREE $10 welcome bonus]
Happy Saving!! Let me know some of your money saving tips!!
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Improve Your Mental Health
Ever feel burnt-out or like you are on the very edge of sanity?
Look as moms we are busy, whether we are staying at home with our littles, trying to balance housework, keeping the kids alive and the daily expectations of paying bills, making meals etc or if we are a working mom who is balancing work stress and life at home, it is easy to get burnt-out.
It’s a lot for one person. I am not saying that your partner is not helping you out but everyone’s relationship is different and truth-be-told there is only one momma in the house, and you know what I mean! Okay so here are some ways that even a busy mom can nurture herself and be more mentally healthy.
Well here are 5 ways you can nurture yourself and foster improved mental health.
#1-Find time to be alone!
This may mean getting up 20-30 minutes early before the kids get up. Or if you are like me, getting up early is just not an option, my kids are early risers (usually around 5:30am) and my warm bed is just to dang comfy.
Instead I set aside 30 minutes before turning out the lights to sit and reflect. Sometimes I open my bible, sometimes just a blank notebook to process my thoughts or maybe it’s to sit in silence.
No babies crying, no demands, definitely no phones, and just allow myself to be present in the moment.
Use This Time to Be Mindful
- fill up an affirmation journal
- listen to calming music without lyrics
- pray
- notice how your body feels, areas of tension or stress
- make to-do lists for the next day, or the next year
- make a list of things that bring you joy & make a conscious effort to do a few more of those things when possible
- try a Zentangle [check out examples here]
- use some essential oils and practice deep breathing. [lavender, peace and calming, and stress away are good ones] Rub a few drops on your palms, rub your hands together and cup them over your nose and do some slow deep breaths.
Don’t set expectations on this time but let it take shape on it’s own. You will end up taking the space how you needed to in the moment.
#2- Let Someone in!
If you are anything like me, then this will be the hardest one on the list. Let people in. Nobody says you have to do it alone.
Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with someone you trust. Dig into online communities of like-minded individuals, talk to your friends about what is going on for you, ask your family for help if you’re feeling overwhelmed or if you need to, talk to a therapist.
Trust me, therapy can be great!
The moral of the story is we are relational beings. We are meant to live and move and grow in relationship with others. Don’t try to do it alone. It’s just not healthy.
#3-Be Active!
For me (right now, super pregnant) that might mean something as small as parking my car further away at the grocery store, dance breaks during mealtime with my littles or doing squats while you’re brushing your teeth.
[Once I am far enough post-partum this will mean sweat sessions out in the garage doing some weight training and weekend state park hikes]
Whatever it is that you can do to be active. Do it!
And in the wise words of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde -“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.” Enough said.
#4 Take a Technology Vacation!
Yes that’s right. I said it. Put ya damn phone down!
Not everyone can completely rid themselves of their phone. But maybe when you are home it stays on the charger while the kids are awake. Or maybe you take a week off from social media and delete the apps temporarily off your phone.
Anyway you can take a little technology vacation do that. I promise you will thank me.
Be present in the moment, and take a break from the comparison game that is so often in our face when we are on social media. Talk to and engage with the people in front of your face.
#5-Give Yourself Some Grace
You will hear me say this phrase a lot. It’s because it’s majorly important!
Let your life be imperfect.
Understand that in the moment it is ok to let the laundry sit in the dryer for a few extra minutes, for the littles to run around the house with uncombed hair every once in awhile. Don’t freak out about the crumbs on the counter.
Remind yourself that in this moment you are doing the best you can.
And be truthful with yourself if you feel you aren’t doing the best you can. All that means is you need to restart, to make some changes, to ask for help. It’s normal to not have it all together. You will have times in your life where it feels like you’re barely getting by and other seasons when things run smoothly.
Check out this helpful resource for understanding and managing depression.
Be present in your life. Be self-reflective. Ask for help when you need it. And give yourself some grace in the season you are in.
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Protected: July 27th 2019
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Protected: August 3rd 2019
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The Ultimate Working Mom’s Guide to Pumping
Everything You Need to Know About Pumping at work or at a conference or anywhere on the go!
This post may contain affiliate links. This just means that if you make a purchase from a link you find here, I may earn a small commission at NO additional charge to you. All opinions are my own. I would never support anything I didn’t fully believe in.
#1 most important thing you need to know is that you have the right to pump at work! You heard right. You have the right. Check out this link for the federal laws on pumping at work and for more information on your state regulations.
Don’t be afraid to ask your employer/supervisor what space will be made available to you for pumping. [I recommend doing this before you go out on maternity leave or while you are out.]
First and foremost make sure that your pump works and you have all the pieces. Often you can get a pump for free from insurance. I did that for my first two. With my third I just scrounged up my old pump and ordered all new parts off of amazon. I used the Medela pump in-style and you can get Amazon and it ships with Prime.
I’ve used other pumps but really prefer the Medela pump-in style. It has the easiest use and clean up. In my opinion. Although I’m sure there are other pumps that are great too.
Try your pump at home before maternity leave ends. Make sure you’re comfortable with how it works and what pieces you need to take to make it operational.
This one is by far the best I’ve used. It is big enough for my whole pump, parts and empty, or full bottles but not so large that you are carrying around a duffel bag with you.
Make sure that your pump bag is stocked the night before! Pump bottles/bags, clean parts, a big zip lock bag, an ice pack if you do not have a fridge to use a sharpie and labels.
You will want to date your milk and note how many ounces are in each. The other thing to remember is if your child will be watched at a daycare or even with a family member be sure to write their name on the label because you do not want your milk to get lost or get mistaken for someone else’s. That’s your liquid gold!
I do not, I repeat, I do NOT care for the Medela storage bags. These puppies have little holes in the sides so you can pump right into them. Problem is as soon as they are full they tip over and spill and will not longer lay flat.
Why is this important? Because you will want to freeze your milk laying flat to take up less space in the freezer.
Anyways, if you don’t feel like filling your cabinets with these precious yellow medela bottles you can always pump right into a storage bag. (I realize this may be ghetto but I use a small piece of tape and then I can use my Lansinoh bags without an adapter)
I only use Lansinoh storage bags. They have a better storage capacity, I have had less spills with these and they lay flat to freeze. So buy 1,000 because they will be your best friend. I keep a pack in my pump bag at all times.
Honestly you CAN do without this pumping Raise your hand if you have any desire for a stranger or co-worker to accidentally see your boobs?
Yeah that’s what I thought… Well then. Go ahead and do yourself a favor and just get this bra.
Okay so it’s super easy, all you have to do is wrap is around you and your pump just sort of wiggles into the holes in the front so you can be hands free while you pump. [insert that two hands up emoji here **]
Hands free can seriously up your break-time work productivity. I’ve had jobs where I had to keep writing notes from client sessions while pumping. Let me tell you Hands free during pump time is crucial!
If you do plan to use pumping time as downtime then I suggest a subscription to Netflix or Amazon Prime so you can stream music or TV shows while you pump.
When you are done pumping you will need to clean your pump parts. SO, you have a couple of options.
- Put the pump parts that have been dirtied into a gallon size zip lock bag and put them into the fridge or freezer (This keeps bacteria from forming if you plan to use them again during the work day)
- Wash the parts in the sink (if you have a sink available to you)
- Wipes down with these wipes in between uses. (I would rinse with water first before wiping down with these wipes or use the wipes before putting into the freezer) This really depends on your pump. If you’re pump is easily wiped down then do this. If not then make sure you are washing it or putting it in a zip lock in the fridge between uses.
I am the worst at remembering to eat more often when breast-feeding and pumping. When I do I’m good. If I forget then I end up with a major issue with low blood sugar. I will get shaky, get clammy hands, dizziness and I’ll start to sweat.
The other thing that is crucial is WATER. Have water basically glued to your hand at all times. Get a refillable one that you like and it will become your best friend. I use a glass one so I can add essential oils. [More on that later]
Also if you’re not a water person then try coconut water. A word to the wise it needs to be cold or it’s gross. And the lemon one is a major upgrade.
You are supposed to take in more calories a day while you’re breast-feeding/pumping than you do when you’re pregnant. #truth
So my recommendation is to supplement with something like a milk-drunk shake. This also has feneugreek which helps boost supply and it’s freaking delicious. fruit and veggie pouches as I’m running out the door in the morning. Because it’s a little boost of the good stuff.
Now let’s talk alternative locations for pumping.
Places I personally have pumped:
- My office
- A Work Conference
- In my living room while supervising 3 children under 4 years old
- In my car, while driving [I do not recommend this]
- In my car parked in the Target parking lot [pictured above]
- In a storage closet
- In a conference room
- In a counseling room at my office with no locks on the door
- In my supervisor’s office
If you don’t have a nursing/pumping cover like I do in the picture above then you can always turn your cardigan around. I almost always have a cardigan on and I almost never have my nursing cover with me when I pump at work.
If I’m in a conference room or at a work conference where I am outside of my typical pumping space I will set everything up and then put my cardigan on backwards just as a safeguard.
Now I know a lot of people are 100% comfortable with pumping with other women are around and that is totally fine. I am not one of those people and I in no way am trying to tell you how you have to do it!
This is just what has worked for me. I personally prefer to be covered up if I’m pumping and I think there is a 1% or more chance someone will bust in the door.
Do not be intimidated by a location. If you need to pump….girl, do it! If you’re somewhere different than usual like a conference or a training, ASK where you can pump!
Let me tell you if you don’t you could be headed down the road of clogged ducts or mastitis. I shudder just thinking about both of those. More posts soon on how to deal with clogged ducts and mastitis.
If you haven’t had an issue with this yet, trust me you want to avoid it at all costs.
I was just at a training at a Holiday Inn last week and the lady gave me my own room to use for the whole day! It was nice! I even had a fridge to keep the goods! Not to shabby. Don’t be that girl sitting in the restroom trying to pump.
Advocate for yourself! Honestly I’ve never been somewhere where they didn’t come up with a respectable place for me to pump. [Minus one job I had where they thought a storage closet was appropriate. It wasn’t!]
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Check out some of my most recent posts below.
